That's a lot of shit.

Today's blog post is brought to you from my bathroom!

  Time to talk about poop and my unpredictable, temperamental intestines. Having a gastroenterological based autoimmune disorder is anything but predictable. Some days I am fine and even  finish the day with extra "spoons" (if you don't know about The Spoon Theory, read up on it here: http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com/articles/written-by-christine/the-spoon-theory/). Some days I don't have enough energy to get past noon without feeling like I want to curl up into the fetal position and sleep for an undetermined amount of time. Some days the pain is so bad in my joints that it hurts to walk. Some days I am so swollen, that I look like I'm in my second trimester.

  There are also days like today. Days I felt great enough to make plans to do something that I really wanted to do. Days I have plans with people I care about to make memories with. Today is one of those days. Today is a day I will be late due to being stuck on the toilet shitting for four hours, for no reason other than I ate solid food.

  I should explain here that I just went through 3-4 months of being autoimmune disease sick. Not just sick, sick- autoimmune sick. In that time, I probably had a few good days where I felt no pain, didn't have the constant urge to go or wasn't so constipated that the simplest touch hurt my abdomen or maybe I didn't feel like I was going to pass out if I stood up for more than 10 minutes. For the past couple weeks, I have been getting better, after getting worse.

  I knew I was malnourished and figured out that the culprit of all of my discomfort and being sick was a medication I was on. I eliminated the medication, with help from my doctor and I feel my body improving. At this point, I can't consume very much solid food so I drink lots of protein shakes and I eat light stuff.

  Since drinking the protein shakes every day I have been shitting quite regularly. It has also helped with the malnourishment. One other thing it does is it causes the worst smelling shits I have ever had in my entire life. I actually texted a friend about them.

  Today I was stuck in the bathroom on and off for four hours crapping. It got to the point where I was sitting there desperately begging my body to stop. I'm an atheist and I almost prayed. Finally, after four hours on the toilet it stopped. Needless to say, I feel like I did some sort of marathon or something. A shitting marathon. A shit-a-thon.

 I knew better than to leave my house before waiting for a good 30-60 minutes without incident. So, here I am waiting...mostly hoping to no longer shit. So, for my friends and family out there- if I say I am running late or I need to reschedule, chances are I am shitting and afraid to leave the house.

  Hey, at least I feel lighter.